Why Would Not Child Make New Friends?

Who is your child? A wallflower who likes to play alone or a little commanding leader in any group and under any circumstances? The nature and level of socialization become noticeable at a very young age, as soon as your little one begins to interact with other children.

Parents often get pretty worried if a child does not want to get to know other children, and even seek help from child psychologists. However, in most cases, even parents themselves are able to cope with this issue. You just need to observe your little one and communicate with the child.

There can be several reasons to cause the matter:

1. Difficulties with adaptation to new conditions and new surroundings.
The situation is very common among preschool children. On the one hand, everything new seems attractive to them, but on the other hand, it causes mistrust and fear.

2. Natural shyness.
Usually, it is difficult for shy and humble children to take the first step themselves, but in the process of direct communication they become liberated quickly.

3. There are no interesting children in the child’s milieu.
Toddlers, like adults, can be very selective, and it is likely that the child is simply not interested in interacting with children around him.

4. The child is “purely” introvert.
Such children feel comfortable in their "own world". There is no need to put pressure on children in such a situation as they may develop a distrust of their parents and even show aggressive behavior in response.

5. Bad experience.
Perhaps, the child had already taken the initiative earlier, but the proposal to become friends was rejected or ridiculed.

6. The child lacks independence.
In this case, children do not seek to make new acquaintances, because they expect their parents or a potential friend to do it for them.


First things first, you need to find out the exact reason for the child to refuse to meet peers. It is better to address the topic during an ordinary conversation when the little one is disposed to the conversation as much as possible. As soon as you get the answers, here are some common practices aimed to help the child to build healthy interactions and communication.

1. Rehearse introduction scenarios at home.
During the game children not only become liberated but also receive new information more easily. Act out the classic introduction scenes, and let the child take the initiative.

2. Do not hesitate to play a leading role in making new acquaintances.
Invite your friends and colleagues who have children for a visit, introduce your child to other children on the playground and be sure to support his/her any intention to communicate with peers.

3. Read tales and watch movies about friendship.
The stories presented in them will help your little one to understand the importance of friendship and will stimulate the child's desire to make new acquaintances.

Over time, it will become easier for the child to establish new contacts with others. The main thing is to support the child and help him gradually overcome social fears. I have thoroughly addressed this topic in one of my latest books “My Way to Making Friends” and would recommend you to try it out as one of the learning tools for your child.

With love, Elizabeth Cole